A Sad Day

It has been a long week since my last ultrasound. I couldn't sleep all night Sunday night because I was too uncomfortable. Then I woke up Monday to a lot of pain on my left side that wouldn't go away. I called the doctor and he had me come in for a look. I figured it had to do with my cysts on my ovaries...and I was right. They were huge! While he was in there it looked at the babies too and Baby A's heartbeat was better at 126 and Baby B's was around the same. I was happy, in pain but happy :) I left there with my note for work saying I couldn't work for the next couple of days to give my body a chance to rest and not rupture my cysts. The pain got better....

Last night I tossed and turned in bed. I would be fine one minute and then get these shooting pains all over my abdomen. There was a couple of times I sat right up in bed and woke up Matt. I was supposed to work today, at about 3 am I knew I probably wasn't going in. I called work and apologized because I knew we were so short staffed...I felt bad. I had another ultrasound first thing this morning. I was excited to get to see the twins but I was hoping he had some insight into the pain I was having....he did. As soon as he put the ultrasound in, I knew something was wrong. Baby B was there and big and I could see its little heart just a beating away. Then right above B was A and it looked much smaller (although now it looked like a little gummie bear) and I could see the heartbeat and it looked slow. He went right to them. Baby A's heart beat was only 44 (way to slow for my non-nurse friends), Baby B was 155 and baby B actually moved while we were looking at it. He didn't say anything at first but I knew what he was thinking. Also right below baby A was an area of bleeding (up to this point I have had no bleeding). He told me that baby A was probably dying and I would start bleeding/cramping soon. My heart just sank. Ever since Monday I was becoming hopeful that they would both be fine. The hope is that I will bleed once A is ready to let go and B will just kind of push on over and be fine and my body will absorb A. He told me no work for the next two weeks as it should happen sometime soon. He thinks the pain I am feeling across my belly has a lot to do with it.

Here is probably the final picture we will have of both of them.

Matt kept asking me how I was feeling....I am still unsure. I am sad and really wish I had never seen A's heartbeat or little body as that just makes it so much harder for me. I just picture that poor little baby in there that I can't do anything to help. I do believe that this wouldn't be happening unless it was supposed to. My body knows.

Now we wait for nature to do its thing.
Today was my last appointment with Dr. Carnovale, I am sad to be leaving their office. I have been there almost once a week for the past two years....weird! I scheduled my first OB appointment with Dr. Bemenderfer for next Wednesday and Thursday. I will post more then.

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and prayers