Doing Well :)

I figured it was time for an update since it had been 2 weeks since the last! Everything is going well here. I don't think I could have asked for a better outcome. When the NICU people came to talk to use 3 weeks ago and told us all the possible things that could be wrong with him, we were very scared. I think he heard them and said, "nope, I am going to be fine" because he really hasn't had any of the "major" issues. They told us that most babies his age would need to be on blood pressure medicine to maintain his blood pressure...nope, his blood pressure is just fine. They said he was at risk for brain bleeds, nope...all his head ultrasounds show nothing! Way to go Luke!! I will give you a timeline of the last 2 weeks...

The first few days of Luke's life he was on the ventilator and not allowed to be touched. We would come in and look at him and talk to him often. We finally got to touch him and change is diaper on Friday (11/25). We were so excited! From there they started letting us touch him more (every 6 hours) and they started feeding him very small amounts (4 ml every 6 hours).

Tuesday (11/29) they surprised us by saying they were going to extubate him and see how he does. They said he would either fail miserably and immediately or he would go with it and we would see how long he would last without it. He did the latter. He could have cared less that we removed the tube and he did awesome on the sipap machine!! This was amazing for us. We really go to see his personality come out during this time. We learned that he does not like to be in a wet diaper very long (he gets very fussy and cries), he hates being bundled up in the little snuggy thing they put him in...they would put him in it and within 5 mins he would have his legs and arm out and moving! We also learned that he loves his pacifier! Most babies at his gestation don't have a suck reflex, but he does and he loves using it!!

With his doing well, we also got a new privilege...we go to hold him!!! I had been waiting for this and was in heaven when it actually happened. Matt and I decided we would take turns holding him...

He was doing well until Monday (12/5). When we went into his room that morning, I just knew something wasn't right with him. He wasn't moving as much and he wasn't crying as much. He was also having a lot of episodes where he would stop breathing and drop his heart rate, which tell us that he was getting tired. By Wednesday morning he lab work was bad, his chest xray was bad, and they said it was time to go back on the ventilator. I was somewhat okay with this. I knew it was what he needed but it saddened me because I knew it was going to be awhile before we got to hold him again or hear him cry. I think he sensed this because right before they put the tube back in he let out a big cry as if to say, "it's alright mom". I cried, but it was a happy cry. 

So, that is where we are now! Matt and I are still staying in the NICU, however we are planning on going home this weekend. We feel he is stable now and we need to start to get back to normal. I am recovering well from my c-section. I have had some incision issues, but I feel much better than I thought I would. I will try to keep updating and posting pictures!!!

It's Empty Again........Our little boy is here

Things had been going better since last Monday (Nov. 15th), until Wednesday.  That morning my contractions started getting more intense and more frequent.  They tried giving me a mag bolus, but that barely touched them.  I also got a dose of nubain, which had helped before, but wasn't much help this time.  So things continued to progress and Dr. Bemenderfer came to check on me around 3 pm.  She did an ultrasound to check on Luke, and then tried to check my cervix, but all she could feel was my bag of water.  Since labor had already progressed to that point, she said it would probably be best to have a C-section to avoid the possibility of complications.  Matt and I both called our moms and told them that it was time.  So they started prepping me for the O.R.  My nurse for the day, Chrissie, who was supposed to go home at 3 pm, insisted on staying until I delivered, even though I told her she should go home.  What a great friend.  The whole time they were prepping me for the OR, my room was full of other nurses who just come in and wish us well and make sure we were ok.  I love the people I work with.

They took me back to get my spinal in, which turned out to be quite an ordeal.  The CRNA was having trouble getting it in because I had to lay down instead of sitting up to avoid breaking my water.  They finally got the spinal in after about 45 minutes and then went to get Matt.  Shortly after he arrived they started the surgery.  My leg had been pulled up with my knee bent in the air when it went numb, so the whole time I felt like it was in that position even though they had straightened my leg and laid it down again.

Once Dr. Bemenderfer got into my uterus, I think Luke changed his mind.  She kept trying to pull him out and he kept trying to go back inside.  I couldn't see anything, but Matt said he saw his feet sticking out 2 or 3 different times, but they kept disappearing.  So they had to cut my uterus a little more, vertically this time instead of horizontally like the first incision.  This ensures that if we have any more children, I will be having a C-section.  Then she was able to get him out and they laid him on my chest to suction his mouth and nose before the NICU people took over.  They immediately started to intubate him and check his heart rate and temperature.  They had a little trouble getting the tube into the right spot, but eventually got it in and got him stabilized.  They did an awesome job!!!!!  Matt was bouncing back and forth between me and Luke the whole time trying to make sure both of us were ok.  While they were working on him, we heard him let out a few small cries.  It was amazing!!!  Once the tubes were in and they had checked his breathing, they quickly took Luke from the room and upstairs to the NICU.

The official time and stats were:

Lucas Matthew Healy
Born: 5:13 pm, Nov. 23, 2011
1 lb. 13 oz. - 13 inches long

Then Dr. Bemenderfer finished stitching me up and they sent me back to my room.  We had a wait of about 2 hours before anyone could go see Luke, with not a lot of updates.  We just kept being told they were working on his IV and feeding lines and getting his breathing and heart rate stable.  Finally around 8:30 or 9 Matt was able to go up and check on Luke.  After both sets of grandparents were able to go up and see him everyone headed for home or hotels around 10.  I was feeling pretty good after the surgery, so Matt and I went up to see him around 11.

So far he is doing well.  He is really bruised from the delivery, but his skin color is improving daily.  He was  black, blue and purple from head to toe Wednesday night, but is starting to turn pink in his chest, hands, feet and even a little in his arms and legs today.  His heart rate and blood pressure are doing well along with most of the other levels that the NICU is monitoring.

This morning when Matt and I went up to see him, they let Matt take his temperature and change his diaper (Matt's first ever).

Right now we just hope and pray that our little guy can keep going strong and slowly improve with each day that passes.

We really appreciate the thoughts, prayers and support that all of our family and friends have given us this far and we know they will continue to be there as we move forward.

It's Been a Rough Couple of Days

Monday's cervical length started out ok.  Luke looked good and my cervix measured 3.5 cm. . . . but then I had a contraction and it went down to 0.6 cm with some pretty bad funneling.  I was HORRIFIED.  A little later one of the doctors came in and checked my cervix and said I was dilated and she could feel his head.  That got me extremely worried and I was just sure that he was coming out.  Luckily that was not the case.  There was also some bleeding and fluid coming out.  Dr. Bemenderfer was concerned that my water may have broke, but again, luckily that was not the case.  They gave me some more meds and upped my mag in the evening and things seemed to quiet down overnight.

Tuesday morning brought more contractions starting at about 5:30 a.m.  I got some more meds to help, which they did, but I am still contracting.  Some hours it may only be one or two, while others it seems to be 8 or 10.

A nurse practioner from the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) came down to talk to us about what to expect if I were to deliver today or in the near future.  It was not a very pleasant conversation, but it was probably a good thing that we did it.  For now we are just hoping that doesn't happen for awhile.  Every day and week counts a lot right now and we are just hoping for the best.

Since all of happenings on Monday I have been restricted to my bed, I don't even get bathroom privelages.  My wonderful and loving husband (he is the one doing the typing now, so I don't really have control over what he says about himself) has had to do and see things that he is not particularly fond of.  He doesn't do well with dog poop, not to mention mine.  All in all, it has been a rough couple of days, but we are hanging in there and Luke is still inside - where he belongs.

Everyones' thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

The Day Has Come...

Just when I was starting to relax....NOT! So let me update you on the latest....
Tuesday I had a scheduled ultrasound to check my cervical length. I went just like any other appt thinking everything would be fine and I would be back home in 30 mins. Again, NOT! The ultrasound started off just fine. She measured my cervix and it was 3.0 (this was shorter than Friday's measurement but only by 0.1 cm). Then we were just watching him move around (he has taken to head butting the ultrasound probe and it is quite comical) when I saw my cervix opening on the big screen and she saw it too. She asked what I was feeling and I was feeling a contraction, but not a bad one. What we were seeing was something called funneling (for my non-nursing friends it is too hard to explain, just Google it) and that isn't good. While this was happening my cervix shrunk to 1.6 cm, which isn't good again! She had me get dressed but placed me in a waiting area while she got my doctor. I knew what was coming so I started alerting the media (Matt, mom, etc). My doctor came in and basically said we knew it was probably coming and I was going to get taken over to the unit for some monitoring and then we would go from there. For some reason (why, I don't know...I should know better) I was starting to get hopeful that I would still go home.

Got to triage on the L&D unit (my second home) and got my monitoring started. It showed that I was very irritable (crampy) with a few contractions...which wasn't a change for me. But that was enough for my doctor to say, were done and it was time for me to be admitted. Not only was I going to be admitted, but I was also going to be started on a medicine called Magnesium Sulfate (Mag), which is an IV medication to stop my uterine activity, along with a slew of other medicines. This did not excite me one bit. I have see what this medicine does to you and I didn't want that. But I knew it would help keep him in there which is where he needs to be!

Luckily, a lot of my friends were working so they all were eager and ready to help get this going. They took me to my room (which was an inside room...without a window to the outside....not going to work...now I am in a new room with an outside window) and got everything going. They got the Mag started and it did everything I expected it to. Now, lets fast forward to today....

The Mag is still going, but I feel tons better than I did. My only big problems would be that I can't focus, so that make reading, etc (all things I was doing) not possible/much more difficult. Also, I am a walking furnace.  My room is kept cold (Matt is even saying he is cold) and I have a fan on me at all times, my face is also a wonderful "blush" color. The Mag also burns my arm, for which I keep an ice pack on it! Matt has moved our house into our room, and that is sad. I already miss my dogs (never thought I would say that) and my home. I have been told that I am going to be here until he comes out (unless my cervix decides to cooperate). We had another ultrasound yesterday (we will have many more) and the ultrasound lady who I have gotten to know quite well switched it over to 3D/4D so we could really see his little features and OMG! I wasn't sure how good it would look since he really doesn't have any fat on him yet, but it came out perfect....

I am in love with his little nose and chin. Too cute!!!

Well, that is all for now. I leave you with this...I am always welcoming visitors and if anyone has an idea how I can see Breaking Dawn I am all ears (I am not above breaking the law).  I will update more since now I REALLY have nothing to do!!!!

Half Way :)

Wow, 20 weeks.....wow. I had my doubts about even getting pregnant and now I am half way through. I am still in awe of this whole process everyday. Every ultrasound (and there are many), every kick in my belly (even in the middle of the night or very early in the morning), every ache/pain/contraction will be all worth it soon!

To update....my cervical lengths this week went well. Monday it was 3.3 and today it was 3.4, so all is good there. Today was supposed to be our gender ultrasound (but we found that out 6 weeks ago) so it was just another ultrasound. They checked to make sure he had all of his organs (kidneys, heart, stomach, bladder, etc) and he did. He was actually quite cooperative today (usually he isn't, he wants to move around too much). And get this....he is still a boy...he even showed us!

This was the first thing we saw, as if to say "hi mom and dad"!!

Saw more than just his "thing" today....

Love this picture, his cute little feet :)

Right when the lady needed to measure his leg bones he stretched one leg out for her...good boy!

Waving bye! See ya next time :)

My doctor appointment after the ultrasound went well too. I was excited to actually see my doctor since recently she has been out of the office or not on call when I have needed her! How dare she have a life ;)
She was glad to see my cervical length is stable. She also made me feel better but just saying she understands how nervous and scared I am and she is here for me whenever...I just love her! She is a little concerned with my weight gain (or lack of). My pre-pregnancy weight was 104 lbs and I am just now at 107. The baby's growth is still fine, but she is worried. I feel like I am eating enough, but maybe I am not. I really thought gaining weight while pregnant would be easy...guess not! She is having me keep a food log for the next week to see where I can improve. Hopefully she can give me some ideas :)

In other news, here is the belly shot everyone is anxious to see...I feel huge and I know I am not even close to that yet!

Also, the nursery is coming along. We finished painting and putting up the chair rail. Now we just need mattresses and bedding stuff....and a little decoration.

 What you see when you enter

The crib and my rocking chair that was my grandma's. The stuffed animals on it are mine and will be put somewhere.

The changing table

The dresser

My Scentsy warmer with the "newborn nursery" smell (it smells like baby powder)...thanks Meg!!

Grandma Janet has been hard at work....shopping :) There would be more but Matt won't let me buy anything :(

That is all for now...will update next week after my doctor appointments!

I know....sorry

Well, 19 weeks is here! I would like to say it has been uneventful lately but it hasn't. My time since my last post has involved doctor appointments, sitting on the couch, and more doctor appointments. No real change. We stopped the Procardia a week after starting it because I wasn't tolerating it and it really wasn't working :( I spend my days sitting on the couch pretty uncomfortable most of the time, my body does give me a break every now and then and I use those breaks for showers, etc.
Monday night into Tuesday I really wasn't getting any relief and was starting to get concerned so I called the doctor and they had me come in for yet another ultrasound/appointment. My ultrasound showed my cervical length had gone down to 3.5 (which is normal) but with me being uncomfortable they thought they would send me to triage for monitoring. I was there for a while and the monitor showed I was having some contractions and lots of irritability. So they decided to give me a dose of a medicine called Terbutaline. It is a shot that is supposed to help "calm" my uterus down. Well, it did that but made the rest of my body go nuts!! I felt awful. My heart rate increased badly and I was shaking. I made Matt go get the nurse at one point because I thought I was going to pass out! Eventually it wore off and we were back to where we started. They gave me the option to keep me overnight and have another ultrasound in the morning or go home. I decided to stay because I was scared and being there gave me some sense of security. My night in the hospital went about as well as to be expected. I didn't sleep much (I usually don't anyway). In the morning I had my ultrasound and my cervical length went up to 4!! I guess I am just nuts! It made me happy to see this but I still remain weary because I won't know if what is going on in my body is doing something or not and based on work experience I know that if something does happen it can happen quickly and silently. They decided from now on they would bring me in for ultrasounds twice a week for reassurance and to catch it if anything does happen. As far as my discomfort goes, well, nothing. We have now tried the medications that I could possibly take while at home and they didn't work. The only other option is a medication that is an IV one and I have to be in the hospital, and it can make me feel like crap! I am not ready to do this yet and they don't think it is needed until I started having cervical change. So I went home and now am back to doing my usual :)
I have my 20 week ultrasound/appointment next week and I am hoping to then post a belly picture and maybe some pictures of the nursery since it is coming along as well!

16 Weeks!!

Well, we made it another two weeks! They have gone by pretty slowly though :( Not much has changed with me. My belly is getting bigger, it has grown another 3/4 inches in the past two weeks. Matt says he can tell, but I don't think it will look much bigger in a picture yet. Still no weight gain though, I am almost to my pre-pregnancy weigh though!
Matt and I went to Babies R Us over the weekend to register. I know it is early but people are wanting to buy us things so we thought we would get the list together so they can! It was soo much fun, I didn't feel great for the whole trip but it was still fun. Matt was scanning everything....he had the most fun in the clothes. This child will be well dressed! He still doesn't have a name....it has been a topic of discussion everyday. We really like the name Lucas (Luke) and that is his temporary name. If we find something we like better than we will change it. But every name I look at I don't like better than Luke!
We had a doctor appointment with an ultrasound yesterday. All is well with him...he is getting so big! I am amazed at his size on the ultrasound :) They didn't do much with the ultrasound but check my cervical length, but they did manage to get this one picture...

He says hi!!
The doctor also started me on a medicine called Procardia to take for contractions (which I am having more and more of every day). They hurt and my belly gets soo hard. I don't like it. Thankfully, they aren't doing anything to my cervix, which is good. They just really annoy me and wake me up at night. This medicine should help. I took my first dose today...it doesn't make me feel all that great and I have noticed a slight decrease in the intensity and frequency of the contractions. I hope it gets better with more doses!

Also, for the first time today..I am now officially positive...that I felt him move! I have felt things for the last few days but wasn't sure if it was him or not. I am sure today....he gave me a good kick and has done it a couple more times since! I love it!!!!!
I have another appointment next week and will post if anything changes!!

NEWS!!! 14 Weeks!!!

14 weeks....wow. I am still amazed every day by this little bean growing in my belly. Bedrest is going well, I am starting to get pretty lonely. Matt is working soo much and we really only see each other in bed when we are sleeping so that is tough. I love when I get visits from friends and family!

I ended up in triage at the hospital again last week because my cramps were getting soo much worse and it was concerning me. They had me come in and checked my cervix, it was closed and firm per MD (that is good). So we just continued with what we were doing...

I am amazed at my body changes lately. The pregnancy journal that I bought has me measure my waist every week and keep track of it (along with my weight)...while I have gained no weight since getting pregnant (still 2 lbs down) my waist size has grown...in fact it grew 1.5 inches in a week!!! Wow! I decided it was time to post some belly pics. Below is the most recent picture of me with a lemon (a friend of mine from nursing school did this with her pregnancy...you take you picture with the fruit/veggie that is the same size as your baby at that point). I am getting there!

Today, I had a scheduled appointment to check on my bleed and my cervix and my cysts. They started the ultrasound and Matt and I immediately saw "something". I asked the ultrasound lady to check that area, when she asked if we wanted to know and we said yes, she said "I already saw it, its a BOY" Matt and I were floored!!! We were for sure thinking it was a girl! But, none the less our baby has a penis and had no problems showing it off....

I still have one cysts that seems to be hanging on in there...but getting smaller. I still have the bleed, but again getting smaller. So.....bedrest resumes! At least for another two weeks. Also, they are going to watch my cervical lengths a little closer (today's was great) because I feel like I am contracting all the time and they want to make sure that my cervix remains sealed shut! Here are some more additional pictures of our little BOY!!!!

Will update soon!!!!

12 Weeks!!!

We made it! The first trimester is over!! I really never thought this day would come. I had my 12 week doctor visit today and all is well with the baby, heart beat was 164. I had an ultrasound on Monday with the high risk doctors to check for Down's Syndrome, etc so they did not do another ultrasound today. That ultrasound showed I still have a pretty good sized bleed in there so the bedrest continues....however, I am now allowed to move around a little more to see how I do :) :) :) Normally I would see the doctor again in 4 weeks but since I am not normal, I will see her again in 2 weeks and they will do another ultrasound to check on the bleed.

I am starting to get a little stir crazy here at home.....Matt gets home around 7 pm, he makes and we eat dinner, he works more, and then we go to bed. So I don't really get to see him much. I look forward to the weekends, but he has been working on those days too. I am missing everyone at work, and feel so out of the loop with everything there! I am developing a baby bump and I love it...now if I could just feel this little one move, my life would be complete! I eagerly await that day :)  Well, I think a nap is in order for me :) I will update as necessary!

Not Normal...

Well, a lot  has happened in the last few days so I figured an update was warranted. I am fine and the baby is fine but it scared the crap out of both Matt and I!

Thursday: Feeling fine most of the day until about 3 pm when my lower back started hurting. I just figured it was growing pains from my uterus or from me laying around too much! Matt and I were supposed to have spaghetti for dinner that night so I thought I will get up and make it to try and work my back out...I also tried a heat pack. Matt came home and we ate dinner, by this point my back was killing me. He told me to go sit down and he would clean up the kitchen. While sitting I thought I would return a phone call to Laura (a wonderful friend of mine who lives in Florida). I had just started talking to Laura when all of a sudden I felt a gush. I asked Laura if I could call her back and ran to the bathroom. By the time I got to the bathroom my pants and underwear were soaked with blood. I started screaming for Matt and he came in the bathroom and his face said it all. I started crying.... I made him go get my phone as I sat on the toilet as the blood was pouring out of me. I called the answering service for my doctor and tried to tell them what was wrong so they could page the doctor (ps....they were asking way to many questions!!! I think it would have been easier to just get the number from work and page her myself!!) I told Matt to get ready and bring me some clothes because we were going to the hospital. The doctor called back very quickly (thank god) and I was crying and she said come in now and we will do an ultrasound. No problem...we left. In the car, the shaking started. We got to the hospital and went up to the unit, I used my badge and walked right in to triage...they knew I was coming and put me in a room. I was in a lot of pain at this point, the back pain was still there but also I was getting this sharp pain in the front and had constant cramps. The ultrasound was sitting there ready to go but we had to wait for the doctor to get there. I really wanted to just ultrasound myself.....but I didn't. Dr.Voelkel finally got there after what seemed like a lifetime (it wasn't). She put the ultrasound on and we instantly saw the baby's heartbeat...I could breathe again. She couldn't see much with the ultrasound we have on the unit so she said she was going to send me home and have me come back into the office on Friday to check everything out. She told me I was now on "don't get your butt up bedrest" She drew some blood and gave me a big shot in the butt (too hard to explain) and sent me home. I continued to bleed a little the rest of the night.

Friday: We went to the doctor in the morning when they could fit me in. We sat in the office forever! The ultrasound was first and showed the baby was still fine and moving all around, but I did have a pretty good sized subchorionic hemorrhage near what was baby A's sack. They thought that what was making me bleed. I saw the doctor afterward and she said that they wanted to see me again in a week to check things out and to call if I bled anymore.

Saturday: Day went by fine. Ate dinner at the dining room table with Matt, but wasn't hungry (that is unusual for me now). Went to sit back down and felt yet another gush. Ran to the bathroom and sat and again watched the blood fall out of me, this time with some clots. I cleaned myself up and came out to the living room to call the doctor....Matt got ready to go...he knew. Dr. Wagner was on call that night and he said to come in to triage and he would have the ultrasound people come and ultrasound me. I was nervous this time, but not as bad as Thursday night. We got there and had to wait for the ultrasound people (people I work with know, this takes forever). They finally got there and started the ultrasound. All I wanted to see was my baby's heartbeat...he put the ultrasound on my belly and was looking all over and not at the baby...I was mad! Finally, he moved it over to the baby and we saw the heartbeat and it was moving like crazy!! Whew! He even got a little picture of the face!!

We had to sit in triage for a little while longer while we waited for the official report to come back. Once it did, we were sent home.

So now I spend my days laying on my couch. I have figured out that if I sit up to long, I start cramping. I have learned to brush my hair while peeing to avoid having to be up too long in the morning. I eat dinner on the couch while laying back (this is a challenge). Last night I tried to take a shower....bad idea. As I was drying off I started to drip blood again. I hurried up and went and laid down on the couch and spent the whole night cramping (I couldn't even sleep). I guess it is baths only for me! I have a doctor appt

I will post more later!

Baby Boo!

Well, not much has happened since I last posted. My nausea is better, just every once in a while now :) I was supposed to go back to work this week, but I am still having quite a bit of pain on my left side when I am standing and moving around...so the doctor extended it for another week pending on the ultrasound I had today.

My ultrasound was amazing! They did a abdominal one instead of a vaginal one :) :) :) The baby looked so much bigger from two weeks ago and actually looks like a baby now!!

 How cute is that?!?!?!!?

 A great shot of the cord....looks good too!!!

 It was moving around soo much too!!!!

A good look at the arms and legs when they weren't moving!!!

In cyst news.....they are still there but smaller. You can actually see which ovary is which now! My right ovary has a small one and my left had two larger ones. Going by the measurements they are smaller, but boy did it hurt bad when she moved the ultrasound on to my left side and was pushing. And now my left side hurts soo bad! The doctor is supposed to look at the ultrasound and let me know about working.....

Well, that is all the news for now. My next ultrasound is the nuchal translucency test (a test for down's syndrome) and it is in about 2 weeks on August 22....will post more then!!!

Doing good...

I had two appointments this week. One was an ultrasound and education then the second was to actually meet with the doctor.
My ultrasound went well. Baby A no longer has a heartbeat and was getting much smaller. The sac was almost empty. This baby is now referred to as a "vanishing twin." Now we wait for the sac to disappear completely. Baby B looked great. The heartbeat was 176 and it moved again for us :) It was measuring 8 weeks even which is exactly where I was! This was a very cool ultrasound because Matt and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat this time (before we had just seen it).

Isn't it cute!?!?!!?

In other news my cysts were still huge although in looking at the measurements, they look slightly smaller. The ultrasound tech was a little surprised by the size, it was all normal for me ;)

Today, my appointment was with Dr. Bemenderfer. I was really excited about this. Since I haven't been at work, I haven't been able to see/talk with her about all this. Plus, Matt hadn't met her yet and I wanted that to happen. All went well with her. She wants to do another ultrasound in 2 weeks to check on Baby A's sac and my cysts, then I am normal OB care from there.
I return to work on August 9th. I am excited. While work is exhausting most of the time and I rarely have time to stop and pee or eat, it will give me something to do to make time fly. Sitting at home by myself, time seems to crawl....

That's all for now....will update soon!

A Sad Day

It has been a long week since my last ultrasound. I couldn't sleep all night Sunday night because I was too uncomfortable. Then I woke up Monday to a lot of pain on my left side that wouldn't go away. I called the doctor and he had me come in for a look. I figured it had to do with my cysts on my ovaries...and I was right. They were huge! While he was in there it looked at the babies too and Baby A's heartbeat was better at 126 and Baby B's was around the same. I was happy, in pain but happy :) I left there with my note for work saying I couldn't work for the next couple of days to give my body a chance to rest and not rupture my cysts. The pain got better....

Last night I tossed and turned in bed. I would be fine one minute and then get these shooting pains all over my abdomen. There was a couple of times I sat right up in bed and woke up Matt. I was supposed to work today, at about 3 am I knew I probably wasn't going in. I called work and apologized because I knew we were so short staffed...I felt bad. I had another ultrasound first thing this morning. I was excited to get to see the twins but I was hoping he had some insight into the pain I was having....he did. As soon as he put the ultrasound in, I knew something was wrong. Baby B was there and big and I could see its little heart just a beating away. Then right above B was A and it looked much smaller (although now it looked like a little gummie bear) and I could see the heartbeat and it looked slow. He went right to them. Baby A's heart beat was only 44 (way to slow for my non-nurse friends), Baby B was 155 and baby B actually moved while we were looking at it. He didn't say anything at first but I knew what he was thinking. Also right below baby A was an area of bleeding (up to this point I have had no bleeding). He told me that baby A was probably dying and I would start bleeding/cramping soon. My heart just sank. Ever since Monday I was becoming hopeful that they would both be fine. The hope is that I will bleed once A is ready to let go and B will just kind of push on over and be fine and my body will absorb A. He told me no work for the next two weeks as it should happen sometime soon. He thinks the pain I am feeling across my belly has a lot to do with it.

Here is probably the final picture we will have of both of them.

Matt kept asking me how I was feeling....I am still unsure. I am sad and really wish I had never seen A's heartbeat or little body as that just makes it so much harder for me. I just picture that poor little baby in there that I can't do anything to help. I do believe that this wouldn't be happening unless it was supposed to. My body knows.

Now we wait for nature to do its thing.
Today was my last appointment with Dr. Carnovale, I am sad to be leaving their office. I have been there almost once a week for the past two years....weird! I scheduled my first OB appointment with Dr. Bemenderfer for next Wednesday and Thursday. I will post more then.

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and prayers

Our Little Miracles

I couldn't sleep last night, I was too excited. I got up and went to work and went about my daily routine. I constantly kept looking at my watch to see what time it was (time was passing soo slow).  Finally it was time for me to leave and make the long (not really) walk to Dr. Carnovale's office. I informed everyone on the unit that needed to know I was leaving and set off!
I was surprised when I got there to see Matt there and waiting (the man is never on time)! The took us right in and everyone had big smiles on their faces! I loved it.
Once I was all ready we began the ultrasound. It was a vaginal ultrasound for those of you that do not already know that. He asked me before he started if I thought there was one or two....I had no clue. We had peeked at work using the abdominal ultrasound, but weren't sure what we were looking at! As soon as he stuck it in we got our answer....TWINS!
Matt and I looked stunned, I am sure. I just kept looking at the screen and seeing two sacks and I was in awe (still am). According to the doctor I am 6 weeks and 5 days (which is more than I thought). I do have a lot of cysts again (go figure) and we are going to keep an eye on them.

This is Twin A. My computer won't flip it around...sorry. This baby is measuring a little small at 5 weeks and 1 day. The heartbeat was a little slow at 89 as well. We are going to keep an eye on it and hope it continues to progress!

This is Twin B. It was measuring 6 weeks and 1 day (so close) and the heartbeat was better at 111. Look at the head on that one!

Matt and I are hopeful that everything turns out okay with both of them. We do know that if something does happen it was meant to be though.

So far I feel okay. I have good days and bad ones. The last two have been fine. I am always VERY tired and slightly nauseated. I will take it for now, I am sure it will get worse!

I have and ultrasound again next Friday at 8 am.....I will post more pics!

Still going strong...

Today was a good day...or make that a great day!! I got my blood drawn early, first thing this morning by my wonderful friend Amy (I am giving you credit hun!) and sent it right off to lab. Then I waited....and waited....usually our lab is very timely when something is ordered stat (which mine was) but then 10:30 rolled around and I still hadn't heard anything...UGH! So I called over to the office to see what my result was, they told me that hadn't seen it yet.....another UGH! So I went about my day looking at the caller ID on the phone next to me every time it rang (and if you are familiar with our unit...that is a lot). Finally at 2:30 I was totally frustrated and needed to know something! I called the office back and she said she would call lab and find out the result...
She called me back about 5 mins later and told me the good news....My HCG level went from 220 on Tuesday to 563 today!!!! That is wonderful!!! Then she said she thinks there might be two in there......I think my throat fell into my stomach and my eyes had to be as big as a house. I always knew this was a possibility, but never thought we would be lucky enough to get one....let alone two!!!!
So now I sit here typing this update, I just took my first of what I can assume will be many doses of Phenergan (nausea med) and I am hoping to sleep soon.
My ultrasound is scheduled for July 15 at 8 am!!!!

POSITIVE!!!!!

Well, it finally happened...I got a positive pregnancy test! I woke up this morning somewhat eager to pee on my stick. I was thinking it was going to be negative and I would go on about my day and go to work......boy was I shocked and almost choked on my toothpaste when it came up instantly with 2 LINES! Every other time I had peed on a stick I would want it to be positive soo bad that I would see 2 lines there even when there wasn't. So I double/triple/quadruple checked it and even sent a picture to Matt from my cell phone to see what he thought!

This is what it looked like. The white one is the first one I peed on, then drank some water and peed on the second little blue on for verification (all the while hyperventilating)

I could not wait to get to work and wait for 8 am to roll around so I could call Dr. Carnovale's office and tell them! They always know it is me when I call from work due to caller ID, Carrie answered the phone and I think she could tell by my voice (which has been a few octaves higher lately) that it was good news. She instantly faxed me over a order for me to get my blood drawn to confirm. I walked around our unit to find someone to draw my blood (usually this isn't a problem, but for some reason everyone was busy), finally I found Betsy...she drew it and I sent it off to lab and waited (somewhat impatiently) for Carrie to call me back! When she called me back and told me my HCG level (hormone in your blood that you produce when you are pregnant) was 220 (which is good)....I nearly cried. I screamed and probably scared a few patients in their rooms! I instantly called Matt and he was just as excited as I was.

Now we wait (yet again), but not for long this time. I have my blood drawn again on Thursday to see how that same level is doing. The goal is for that number to double or come really close.
Now I am also worrying about how many are in there........

So far I have been feeling fine. I have been very crampy the last couple of days (hence why I thought my test would be negative), but everyone assures me this is normal. I also feel quite bloated :(

Well, I am off of here for now...couldn't really sleep last night and work today was rough....I need some rest for me and my growing baby!
I will post more on Thursday!!!

Third Times a Charm!

Today was the IUI. I was not looking forward to this day for a few reasons. A week ago, I couldn't wait for this day to arrive because it meant we would be having our egg retrieval today. Since last Thursday and finding out that I would not be doing that, but instead doing an IUI, made me sad/mad/etc. Once it was set in my mind that it was going to be yet another IUI, I then started dreading it because I knew it was going to cause so much pain...AGAIN!
However, this time went smoothly. Dr. Carnovale decided to use the abdominal ultrasound while doing the IUI to kind of watch what he was doing while he was doing it. This wasn't the most comfortable thing, but it was far better than previous IUI's.  It worked, the little tube went in without any problems! So now comes the dreaded 2 week wait.....Matt is holding me to it this time :(  I know from previous IUI's how long it takes my HCG shot to get out of my body for me to not get a false positive so I may slip while he is at work :)  Matt is very optimistic about this....me not so much. I have am really tired of getting excited only to get my heart smashed. He made me say at the doctors office today, "this is going to work"....
Meanwhile, I think I am developing a nasty urinary tract infection...my bladder feels like it is very mad at me. I am hoping the discomfort is just from my ovaries being a little bigger than normal and it isn't an infection. I will just have to wait and see.....

Sad Day...

I will make this short, as I really don't feel like typing.

Ultrasound today: I don't have as many follicles as he would like to see. He wants 10-12, I have 3 and not even good ones at that. He gives me the, "meet me in my office so we can talk" line after finishing my ultrasound....
He tells me that he doesn't think it is wise to continue to do IVF with this cycle since I am not stimulating like I should. He says we can convert to an IUI (with Matt's sperm issue the success rate of that is now low too).

We decided to switch to an IUI and see what happens...probably nothing.

Thats it.

The Stimulation Continues...

Today was my first ultrasound since starting the stimulation medications. I wasn't expecting much, and that is what I got! I had 2 follicles (eggs) in my right ovary and 6 in my left. I had my blood drawn after my appointment and they called me to tell me what to do next.
Currently, I take my Follistim in the morning at 50 units and that won't change. I take my Menopure in the evening, which is 1 vial. They increased that to 2 vials tonight and 1 1/2 vials tomorrow. This bummed me, because that medication hurts soo bad and the idea that I have to put more in just freaks me out!
So, the next two nights are going to suck......My next ultrasound is on Thursday morning. Will post more then!

Baseline

All is going well. The Lupron shots aren't really giving me any side effects, I can barely tell that I am taking anything! The shot part does hurt..it burns. I will be glad to decrease that one tomorrow :)

Today was my baseline ultrasound...and for once, it went well! No cysts at all! I had my blood drawn too. They called me a little later today to tell me all was a go and I could start my other meds (Follistim and Menopure) tomorrow as planned! I am so excited.....not about the 2 more shots per day but just getting going. We are near the finish line.........

Just a look at what my day now consists of..... Follistim (left) in the morning, and Lupron (middle) and Menopur (right) in the evening!

I have another ultrasound on Tuesday 6/7. I will post more then....maybe I will have some pictures of follicles (eggs) to show you!

One down, lots to go....

Today is the start!! I am soo excited. However, my day did not start off well. This morning, I just needed to start taking my Doxycycline (antibiotic). I took it at 6 am, since that would be the time I would normally take it when I work and then went back to sleep. About 45 mins later I woke up and ran to the bathroom and threw it (and my dinner from last night) up! BUMMER....

I had an appointment with Dr. Carnovale today anyway to go over my surgery stuff. So I told him what happened and he said to try and eat with it tonight (I take it twice a day) and see how it goes. If I throw it up then he wrote me a prescription for a new drug. 

In the evening I needed to take the Lupron (shot in the belly) and Aspirin and try the Doxycycline again. 

Here is how the Lupron went....

 The shot goes in.....

 That hurt worse than I thought!

And the Lupron BURNS!!!

Aspirin went fine (it is a pill :) and I took the Doxycycline about 30 mins ago and it is still in me....so far so good!

So this will be my routine until June 4th and then I will add more belly shots!! I have an ultrasound on June 3rd, I will post more then!

Have a good Memorial Day!

There was something in there!

My hysteroscopy yesterday went well. We arrived at the surgery center at 6 am, they started my IV and I got visits from Dr. Carnovale and the anesthesiologist (Dr. Kiley) and then they took me back to the OR. I laid down with my arms out to the side (felt weird doing this and not being the one working around the pt.) I then felt this intense burning in my arm all the way up to my shoulder....it was the Propofol (knock out med) I just kept thinking I wanted to go to sleep so I couldn't feel it anymore! The next think I knew I was waking up to those stupid SCD's (things on my legs that puff up every so often)....oh how I hate those! The nurse asked if I was cramping and I was...badly! She gave me some Fentanyl...didn't help. They then took me back to the room I started in and there was Matt! The brought me a warm blanket to put on my belly (didn't work) while the nurse went to see if I could get some Toradol through my IV. She came back and said that I bled a little too much so I couldn't have any Toradol or Ibuprofen! Wonderful! That is all that works for me and my cramps!! I asked Matt what Dr. Carnovale said and he said that there was some polyp in my uterus and he had to do a D&C to get it out. For those of you that do not know, a D&C is a procedure they do mostly after a miscarriage. I don't meet with Dr. Carnovale until the 24th, so I won't know the exact details until then. We got home and I slept most of the day. I think they gave me a million liters of fluid because I kept waking up to pee! I never do that! Today was better, cramps still there but better...more like period cramps.

The next step starts in t-minus 10 days....I begin taking these....

They arrived the other day..I went through all of them and made sure I know what was what. I love that they sent me a sharps container, I was wondering what to do with all those needles!

More to update soon!

Something to keep...

Okay, another post. Before our first IUI I started journaling on a website...I had, until recently, totally forgotten about it. I got an e-mail today that said that unless I got the paid version I was going to loose all of it. I didn't want to because I wrote alot that one and only time. So I thought I would share it here. Keep in mind that it is old!! Like around November.....


I decided to start journaling becauase I needed an outlet. Over the last year my life has changed dramatically, for the good and the bad. I got married to a WONDERFUL man and we started out lives together. Thats when it all got hairy...the living part.
For a little background, I have wanted kids since I was a kid. I couldn't wait to get married and start a family. The joy a baby/child brings into your life is amazing and I couldn't wait to experience it.
Well, I got married and couldn't wait to start trying to have a family and thankfully my husband felt the same. I knew it wouldn't come as easy as some people (I had been on birth control for 10+ years for irregular periods, which I stopped upon returning from our honeymoon), so I went to the doctor to be educated on trying to conceive. I may be an OB RN but I didn't know a thing about getting pregnant, I knew what to do 9 months later! I never got a visit from aunt flo after stopping my pills, I met with the doctor about 6 weeks after stopping the pills. She informed me on what a regular cycle should look like and when I should ovulate, etc. She also drew some blood to see if my hormones were all in check. The blood work came back showing my Prolactin level was elevated, so my OBGYN put me on a pill (for which I got every side effect in the book) to lower it and said to have it rechecked in 6 weeks and to montior my cycles and try to get pregnant. So we did.....I started peeing on ovulation sticks at that point, I believe it was around September. I remember getting up every morning and peeing on this little stick, only to tell me that I wasn't ovualting. Then one morning (I was off work that day and Matt was at work), I got up peed on my stick, set it down on the counter and started brushing my teeth like usual. When I went over to look at the stick to see my negative result, when low and behold it was POSITIVE! I was so excited, I took a picture with my phone and sent to Matt!! For the next few days we "tried to get pregnant" as often as possible. Then came the dreaded two week wait....the longest 14 days of my life! The end of that 2 weeks was also about the time I needed to have my blood drawn again. So I went to the doctor and asked to have and HCG drawn with my Prolactin level, the did. My doctor called the next day to tell me that not only was I not pregnant, but my Prolactin had stayed the same. At this point she said it was a little beyond her and I needed to see an infertility specialist, so she sent me to see Dr. Carnovale. I had my first appt with him on Feb. 4th, that is when this infertility journey began.....
Since then I have had many ultrasounds, a procedure where they put saline up in my uterus while looking at it with and ultrasound to check for polyps/fibroids (this one hurt...apparently my cervix does not want anything passing through it), a laproscopic surgery to correct endometriosis, and switched the route and medication to lower my Prolactin. Here it is mid Novemeber over a year later and still no pregnancy. My Prolactin level is normal, but my cycles are 50-60 days in length and I don't always ovulate. So after meeting with Dr. Carnovale again he wanted to go straight to IVF. I was all for it, I figured it would work and I would be pregnant! Then the price bomb got dropped on us....even with the discount I get for being a hospital employee, the cost was way more than we could afford. Matt said that we could borrow money from our parents, and various other resources but then we would have no money to prepare for the baby it produced. I think that is when I became a little depressed. In my eyes, the only way (I thought) that I could for sure get pregnant was out of our reach and we would never have a baby. On top of that Dr. Carnovale wanted me to have some more blood work done to see if I was infertile. I sat there and thought about what I would do if this was true....my life has depended on my ability to have children......I couldn't fathom a life without having children. Matt said we could just get a donor egg or adopt....I can't see either one of those being an option for me. I want my children to look like myself and Matt, not someone else. This is when I started losing hope. Matt has been as supportive as a man can be, but he just doesn't understand. I spend so many days at work delivering babies to people who don't deserve them and it sucks....and yet god won't give me one!
It is hard to express my feelings with this......
I told Dr. Carnovale we couldn't do IVF and he suggested we try taking Clomid, then HCG to trigger ovulation then IUI. It is costly, but not as bad. So that is where we are....I took Clomid on days 5-9 of this cycle. I am now CD10, I have an ultrasound on Wednesday 11/17 to check follicle size and hopefully we will do IUI this week! I am excited, but I am also trying to stay neutral as I have been burned so many times so far.

It's Beginning!!

Today was a good day. I was looking forward to this day ever since they called and made the appointment. Nothing really happened, but to me is signified the official start of the IVF process!
My appointment today was with Sara (a wonderful RN at Dr. Carnovale's office) where she gave me a packet...

In this packet was everything I needed to know about the upcoming "procedure." First there was my calendar, which has all the drugs I will be taking throughout the whole process.

•  I will start with the Lupron, which is a shot in my belly. This drug basically shuts down my ovaries to prevent them from helping us out!  That way Dr. Carnovale can control what my body does. I take that until the actual egg retrieval. 
• After a few days of that I start Follistim and Menopure which are both ovarian stimulating medications. These are also shots in my belly. I will also take both of these until the egg retrieval. 
• During this process I will also take aspirin and an antibiotic.
• After the retrieval I start taking Progesterone (a very important hormone in pregnancy). This shot is the one I am least looking forward to. It is an intramuscular injection and it goes in my butt. I have heard it hurts.....

Also in my packet are info sheets on some of the medications, instruction sheets on how to give injections (I have that one down!), and a 30 or so page consent that Matt and I both have to sign and have notarized! 

Sara told me how the retrieval would go, that I would be under conscious sedation (basically asleep) and then for the transfer I will take a Valium. I have never taken that before, so it should be interesting. 

After meeting with Sara, we were sent over to Dr. Boldt's office. He is the man that will put our "specimens" (my egg and Matt's sperm) together and watch to make sure they do what we need them to. This was very informative. He went through every part of his process and explained what he wanted to see and what he didn't want to see. He also mentioned several times how he thought we had a very good shot at getting pregnant. I needed to hear that because lately I have been wavering on that. There are some days where I think we will come out of this with a baby and then there are others where I don't. 

I got home and called a pharmacy that Sara had set up for my medications. They are like a mail order pharmacy that deals with specialty medications such as fertility, chemo/caner, etc. With this phone call, we made our first major purchase for the IVF......WOW. I am not ashamed to say how much this is costing us so I will clue you in on the cost of just the medications....$1769.31. That isn't including the aspirin or the birth control pills I have been on for a couple of months. This amount is less than what we budgeted for, which is a plus, but it is still a major cost!

Well, now that I have written a book on here I will go. My hysteroscopy is next Friday, the 13th. I will update after that :)

Yippee!!!

Finally got some good news today....no surgery needed! My cyst went away so I will not need another lap to remove it! I do still need to have a hysteroscopy to get out whatever it is in my uterus. We scheduled that for May 13th. After that we are a go for the June IVF!!!

Another set back...

Well...we went to see Dr. Carnovale today to do another SIS (saline infused sonography/US). I had one done right before my lap last year and he just wanted to make sure nothing had changed since then. This test shows if I have any fibroids, polyps, etc hanging out in my uterus that would prevent a successful pregnancy. This involves him doing a vaginal ultrasound and then sliding a tube through my cervix and then injecting saline while looking at it with the ultrasound. This is supposed to be a simple procedure, but I have a crazy cervix so it isn't for me. When he put the ultrasound in the first thing he saw was a very large cyst on my right ovary. I have had these before but usually they go away. This was left over from the last IUI and now it is large and has what appears to be a blood clot in it....GREAT! He then stuck the little tube through my cervix (which took forever and I came very close to breaking Matt's hand) and injected the saline. This showed that I have a little scar/polyp in my uterus that is attached on the right side of my uterine wall and then stretches over to the left side....ANOTHER GREAT!

So...what does all this mean? It means that I have to have this thing in my uterus removed and that can be done simply with a hysteroscopy and then we are good to go. However, if after he checks my ovarian cyst in 4 weeks if it isn't better then I have to have another lap to remove it and then he will do the hysteroscopy at the same time. If all goes well from that then we are still on track for the June 15th egg retrieval for IVF! I really don't want another lap but I will do what I have to. So we had planned on my to start taking my birth control pills for the IVF next month, but he thinks they might help shrink the cyst so I start those today now.

I am loving that the process is getting started. I am also loving that the weather is starting to improve and I am hoping that will improve my mood as well. I am still spend most of my days off in bed and would like to stop that! I have to start weaning myself off of my Zoloft so that won't help me out anymore either!

My next ultrasound is April 12th....I will post more then!

The Next Step

So I met with Dr. Carnovale today to discuss the new "game plan" and it went well. After the events with the last IUI, Matt and I came to the decision that we weren't going to do anymore IUI's. With my first IUI I had complications and then with the second those complications got worse so I could even fathom how bad it would be with another IUI. So we figured why waste the money, money that we could be saving for our IVF.

So I met we Dr. Carnovale to find out the next steps. We don't currently have the money for IVF but we are close so I wanted to get something planned. We decided to go with the date in June. That gives us a few more months to save before we have to start shelling out the big bucks. He wants to do another saline infused sonography (SIS) before the IVF, so we will schedule that soon. I will start taking birth control pills in April and then go from there! I am excited and starting to get some hope :)

On another note, the cycle I am currently on is going well. It will actually be a normal length and not 60 days! I saw Dr. Vessely (my primary doc) yesterday and he increased my Zoloft because I am starting to get my depression symptoms back. Hopefully works!

More later....

Negative

The title says it all.
I figured this was going to be the result, but to say it makes it more real. I had a bit of a meltdown last night (I have those just about every other cycle) and all I have to say is thank god for Matt. He is my rock and the only reason I am able to continue going through this. I don't know what I did to deserve an awesome husband like him. That is all I am going to say for now. There won't be another IUI for at least 1 cycle because of the cysts. I will still update with the cycle on "our own".

Complication.....

Well, all was going just fine....until today.
I was awoken this morning by a shooting pain in my right groin area, but I only felt it when I pulled my knees up toward my chest (which is how I sleep). So I just kept trying to readjust myself, but eventually I couldn't sleep anymore and I just got up. I decided I was going to pee on my first stick today so I did that...negative. I will do it again for the next 3 days! I figured the pain I was feeling was from my ovaries getting mad at me again just like last time so I decided to take a couple advil and just rest. By about 1 pm the pain was much worse than it has ever been. I couldn't even sit up! So I called Dr. Carnovale to see what he thought I should do. He said he could either call me in a pain medication or if I wanted to, I could come in for an ultrasound. I chose the ultrasound just because this pain was so much worse and I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. I headed right in and sure enough I had several cysts on my ovary! He counted and measured them, while I sat there and wanted to cry. He said he would give me a script for a pain medication and I should just rest.
I was on call today at work from 3p-7p and of course they needed me! I felt so bad saying I couldn't come in, but the pain medication he prescribed was Vicoprofen which contained Vicodin which I can't take while working. They were very understanding. I am so grateful that I work with a bunch of wonderful girls!
So now I am at home. I took one of those happy pills around 3 and was asleep by 4:30! They did help my pain and knocked me out in the process.
So that is the update for now, I am kind of bummed that this is happening again. I also don't think I am pregnant as I have felt quite irritable lately and that is usually a sign that aunt flo is coming. So now comes the waiting for the cysts to go away.  AGAIN
Matt and I are continuing to save every dime we get so we can do IVF if needed (which I think it will be). Hopefully we will have a baby soon :(

All Done...

Well, the IUI went well. It was a lot more painful this time than last but went as planned. We got to Dr. Boldt's office at 11 am with Matt's "sample" and were then told to come back in 1 hour to pick it up. We went down to the cafeteria and had lunch. My stomach was way upset this morning (probably nerves) so I just sat down there in agony. We went back up and got the sperm after it had been "washed" to get rid of the defective ones and we were given a little tub with about 1 ml of fluid in it....that's it!
We took our little tube and walked back over to Dr. Carnovale's office for the IUI. I put on my little pink drape and waited. Dr. Carnovale came in and looked at the report they gave us with Matt's sperm (shows how many, etc) and he was amazed at how many there were....444.5 million! He said that was great and kind of chuckled about combining that with my numerous healthy follicles. The procedure started out fine but then my cervix decided not to cooperate just like last time...go figure. He continued to try and try but it was a no go so he had to use a tool called a "tennaculum" (may be spelling that wrong) which for all purposes here is a pincher! My problem is my cervix looks to the right of my body which makes it difficult to get to and then it isn't a straight tube like other women's...it is a curvy mess! So he took the "pincher's" and grabbed my cervix and pulled it toward him and straighter. OUCH!! I was squeezing Matt's hand so tight I was feeling the blood go out of my hand! I kept trying to focus on the light above me, but that wasn't working. Just when I thought I could take no more he said it was in and I was going to feel some cramping....and boy did I! He injected the sperm and then took every tool out of my body...whew...done :)
Then I had to lay there for 15 mins...I was shaking because it hurt so bad. Matt thought I was cold, but I wasn't .
After our 15 mins we were given "instructions" saying what do to next...I won't bother going into details there :)
So now starts the 2 week wait....the longest time of my life! It always seems to go by slowly too....ugh. Last time I peed on a stick too soon and got a false positive from the HCG shot I gave myself so I know not to do that this time :)
Well, I am off to bed....still very sore and wanting to just rest.

Yes we are going ahead with it....

My ultrasound today went well...very well. I wasn't feeling so hot this morning when I woke up. Just had a lot of cramping and pressure on my right side. Once at my ultrasound I found out why. From the moment he put it in I could see a big difference in my follicle size. I ended up having 4 follicles all 19 mm or greater! My lining was better but still a tad thin but we can't wait any longer for it to thicken up. After seeing my follicle sizes and amounts he asked me if I wanted to continue with the IUI.....because I was at risk of having quadruplets, triplets, or twins! I didn't really even hesitate and said yes I wanted to continue! Yes, I do not want quads, trips or twins but I WILL gladly accept them if that is what God decides to give me :)
So I have to inject my HCG tonight/tomorrow morning at 1230 am and the IUI is on Friday!
I am feeling much more hopeful about this round, but then I am afraid to feel so hopeful.....

Will post more on Friday!

Ultrasound #2

I ended up getting c-time this morning from work, so I didn't have to disrupt the assignments to go to my ultrasound at 8 am.  My ultrasound went well, I had 2 follicles on my right side...one 15 mm and the other 16 mm. I had one on my left, but it was only 12 mm. My uterine lining was a little too thin for his liking so he started me on Estrogen vaginally for the next couple of days to increase it....fun! I have another ultrasound on Wednesday morning and if everything looks good then, we will do the IUI on Friday or Saturday!

On another note...you know that saying "absence make the heart grow fonder" well, boy do I believe it! I have never been so happy to have Matt home I have been kind of stuck to him since he got back on Friday. Last night he caught me watching him sleep (I just like looking at him) and he told me that it was okay...he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon :) I just love him!!!

More on Wednesday!

He will be home today!

So, Matt gets home tonight! I am soo excited. I think I have been doing pretty well without him though. The first couple of days were rough but it got better. Today is day 9 and will be my last dose of Clomid. I made it through the last two days of work being super exhausted, I even got another nurse laughing at me when I had a hot flash! Today I had to go get re-certified for CPR and I about feel asleep! I then had to go to employee health and get checked out because I was exposed to someone with H1N1 at work...great....just what I need! I have an ultrasound on Monday morning to see how my follicles are growing....I can feel them on my left side this time (last time I felt them on my right)...it is becoming a problem putting on shoes and socks! I am signing off now..going to take a nap before I go get Matt at the airport!

I will update Monday after my ultrasound!

A Beautiful Medal with a Story....

I received this medal the other day in the mail from my mother in-law. She got it from a friend of hers who had bought it for a friend of his. Enclosed with this medal was this story....

Enclosed in a "Blue Mary" medal. It is from Chartres, France. The story is this. IN the late 800's the Catholic community built a church on the site of a Roman temple in Chartres, France. The prize possession of the Cathedral is a blue robe that is reputed to be the birth robe of Mary. In 1100 the Cathedral burned to the ground. The robe was found in the ashes, intact. A new Cathedral was built, it is one of the largest in Europe and has an amazing collection of 1100 A.D. stained glass. The birthing robe is displayed in a glass case. People wanting to become pregnant, or wanting other to do so, pray at the robe, light a candle and wear the Blue Mary Medal. In 2003, one of the attorney's in our office, (name), and his wife were trying desperately to get pregnant. (Name) is a Wabash grad and was very close to me and my wife. My wife and I were in Chartres in 2003 and bought this medal for (name). The went through every procedure, en vitro, hormones, etc. In 2005 they adopted a boy, and gave up on having biological children. In 2007 she became pregnant with no medical intervention, and in 2009 she did again. They now have 3 kids. 

                                 This is the front of the medal...I think :)

                               This is the back....again...I think.

I was so moved and excited when I got this. I am not Catholic but I still believe in the power of something like this. I was moved that someone who doesn't even know me was willing to share this priceless medal with me! I instantly placed it on the chair that holds my current charm and have been wearing it ever since......

On another note....Today is day 6. Took my first dose of Clomid last night and slept until noon today! I hate that feeling of being so exhausted, but there is nothing I can do about it. I only had one hot flash overnight....can't wait for those to pick up again. Matt left yesterday morning....I am already missing him! This week had better speed by.......

More later :)