Doing good...

I had two appointments this week. One was an ultrasound and education then the second was to actually meet with the doctor.
My ultrasound went well. Baby A no longer has a heartbeat and was getting much smaller. The sac was almost empty. This baby is now referred to as a "vanishing twin." Now we wait for the sac to disappear completely. Baby B looked great. The heartbeat was 176 and it moved again for us :) It was measuring 8 weeks even which is exactly where I was! This was a very cool ultrasound because Matt and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat this time (before we had just seen it).

Isn't it cute!?!?!!?

In other news my cysts were still huge although in looking at the measurements, they look slightly smaller. The ultrasound tech was a little surprised by the size, it was all normal for me ;)

Today, my appointment was with Dr. Bemenderfer. I was really excited about this. Since I haven't been at work, I haven't been able to see/talk with her about all this. Plus, Matt hadn't met her yet and I wanted that to happen. All went well with her. She wants to do another ultrasound in 2 weeks to check on Baby A's sac and my cysts, then I am normal OB care from there.
I return to work on August 9th. I am excited. While work is exhausting most of the time and I rarely have time to stop and pee or eat, it will give me something to do to make time fly. Sitting at home by myself, time seems to crawl....

That's all for now....will update soon!

A Sad Day

It has been a long week since my last ultrasound. I couldn't sleep all night Sunday night because I was too uncomfortable. Then I woke up Monday to a lot of pain on my left side that wouldn't go away. I called the doctor and he had me come in for a look. I figured it had to do with my cysts on my ovaries...and I was right. They were huge! While he was in there it looked at the babies too and Baby A's heartbeat was better at 126 and Baby B's was around the same. I was happy, in pain but happy :) I left there with my note for work saying I couldn't work for the next couple of days to give my body a chance to rest and not rupture my cysts. The pain got better....

Last night I tossed and turned in bed. I would be fine one minute and then get these shooting pains all over my abdomen. There was a couple of times I sat right up in bed and woke up Matt. I was supposed to work today, at about 3 am I knew I probably wasn't going in. I called work and apologized because I knew we were so short staffed...I felt bad. I had another ultrasound first thing this morning. I was excited to get to see the twins but I was hoping he had some insight into the pain I was having....he did. As soon as he put the ultrasound in, I knew something was wrong. Baby B was there and big and I could see its little heart just a beating away. Then right above B was A and it looked much smaller (although now it looked like a little gummie bear) and I could see the heartbeat and it looked slow. He went right to them. Baby A's heart beat was only 44 (way to slow for my non-nurse friends), Baby B was 155 and baby B actually moved while we were looking at it. He didn't say anything at first but I knew what he was thinking. Also right below baby A was an area of bleeding (up to this point I have had no bleeding). He told me that baby A was probably dying and I would start bleeding/cramping soon. My heart just sank. Ever since Monday I was becoming hopeful that they would both be fine. The hope is that I will bleed once A is ready to let go and B will just kind of push on over and be fine and my body will absorb A. He told me no work for the next two weeks as it should happen sometime soon. He thinks the pain I am feeling across my belly has a lot to do with it.

Here is probably the final picture we will have of both of them.

Matt kept asking me how I was feeling....I am still unsure. I am sad and really wish I had never seen A's heartbeat or little body as that just makes it so much harder for me. I just picture that poor little baby in there that I can't do anything to help. I do believe that this wouldn't be happening unless it was supposed to. My body knows.

Now we wait for nature to do its thing.
Today was my last appointment with Dr. Carnovale, I am sad to be leaving their office. I have been there almost once a week for the past two years....weird! I scheduled my first OB appointment with Dr. Bemenderfer for next Wednesday and Thursday. I will post more then.

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and prayers

Our Little Miracles

I couldn't sleep last night, I was too excited. I got up and went to work and went about my daily routine. I constantly kept looking at my watch to see what time it was (time was passing soo slow).  Finally it was time for me to leave and make the long (not really) walk to Dr. Carnovale's office. I informed everyone on the unit that needed to know I was leaving and set off!
I was surprised when I got there to see Matt there and waiting (the man is never on time)! The took us right in and everyone had big smiles on their faces! I loved it.
Once I was all ready we began the ultrasound. It was a vaginal ultrasound for those of you that do not already know that. He asked me before he started if I thought there was one or two....I had no clue. We had peeked at work using the abdominal ultrasound, but weren't sure what we were looking at! As soon as he stuck it in we got our answer....TWINS!
Matt and I looked stunned, I am sure. I just kept looking at the screen and seeing two sacks and I was in awe (still am). According to the doctor I am 6 weeks and 5 days (which is more than I thought). I do have a lot of cysts again (go figure) and we are going to keep an eye on them.

This is Twin A. My computer won't flip it around...sorry. This baby is measuring a little small at 5 weeks and 1 day. The heartbeat was a little slow at 89 as well. We are going to keep an eye on it and hope it continues to progress!

This is Twin B. It was measuring 6 weeks and 1 day (so close) and the heartbeat was better at 111. Look at the head on that one!

Matt and I are hopeful that everything turns out okay with both of them. We do know that if something does happen it was meant to be though.

So far I feel okay. I have good days and bad ones. The last two have been fine. I am always VERY tired and slightly nauseated. I will take it for now, I am sure it will get worse!

I have and ultrasound again next Friday at 8 am.....I will post more pics!

Still going strong...

Today was a good day...or make that a great day!! I got my blood drawn early, first thing this morning by my wonderful friend Amy (I am giving you credit hun!) and sent it right off to lab. Then I waited....and waited....usually our lab is very timely when something is ordered stat (which mine was) but then 10:30 rolled around and I still hadn't heard anything...UGH! So I called over to the office to see what my result was, they told me that hadn't seen it yet.....another UGH! So I went about my day looking at the caller ID on the phone next to me every time it rang (and if you are familiar with our unit...that is a lot). Finally at 2:30 I was totally frustrated and needed to know something! I called the office back and she said she would call lab and find out the result...
She called me back about 5 mins later and told me the good news....My HCG level went from 220 on Tuesday to 563 today!!!! That is wonderful!!! Then she said she thinks there might be two in there......I think my throat fell into my stomach and my eyes had to be as big as a house. I always knew this was a possibility, but never thought we would be lucky enough to get one....let alone two!!!!
So now I sit here typing this update, I just took my first of what I can assume will be many doses of Phenergan (nausea med) and I am hoping to sleep soon.
My ultrasound is scheduled for July 15 at 8 am!!!!

POSITIVE!!!!!

Well, it finally happened...I got a positive pregnancy test! I woke up this morning somewhat eager to pee on my stick. I was thinking it was going to be negative and I would go on about my day and go to work......boy was I shocked and almost choked on my toothpaste when it came up instantly with 2 LINES! Every other time I had peed on a stick I would want it to be positive soo bad that I would see 2 lines there even when there wasn't. So I double/triple/quadruple checked it and even sent a picture to Matt from my cell phone to see what he thought!

This is what it looked like. The white one is the first one I peed on, then drank some water and peed on the second little blue on for verification (all the while hyperventilating)

I could not wait to get to work and wait for 8 am to roll around so I could call Dr. Carnovale's office and tell them! They always know it is me when I call from work due to caller ID, Carrie answered the phone and I think she could tell by my voice (which has been a few octaves higher lately) that it was good news. She instantly faxed me over a order for me to get my blood drawn to confirm. I walked around our unit to find someone to draw my blood (usually this isn't a problem, but for some reason everyone was busy), finally I found Betsy...she drew it and I sent it off to lab and waited (somewhat impatiently) for Carrie to call me back! When she called me back and told me my HCG level (hormone in your blood that you produce when you are pregnant) was 220 (which is good)....I nearly cried. I screamed and probably scared a few patients in their rooms! I instantly called Matt and he was just as excited as I was.

Now we wait (yet again), but not for long this time. I have my blood drawn again on Thursday to see how that same level is doing. The goal is for that number to double or come really close.
Now I am also worrying about how many are in there........

So far I have been feeling fine. I have been very crampy the last couple of days (hence why I thought my test would be negative), but everyone assures me this is normal. I also feel quite bloated :(

Well, I am off of here for now...couldn't really sleep last night and work today was rough....I need some rest for me and my growing baby!
I will post more on Thursday!!!

Third Times a Charm!

Today was the IUI. I was not looking forward to this day for a few reasons. A week ago, I couldn't wait for this day to arrive because it meant we would be having our egg retrieval today. Since last Thursday and finding out that I would not be doing that, but instead doing an IUI, made me sad/mad/etc. Once it was set in my mind that it was going to be yet another IUI, I then started dreading it because I knew it was going to cause so much pain...AGAIN!
However, this time went smoothly. Dr. Carnovale decided to use the abdominal ultrasound while doing the IUI to kind of watch what he was doing while he was doing it. This wasn't the most comfortable thing, but it was far better than previous IUI's.  It worked, the little tube went in without any problems! So now comes the dreaded 2 week wait.....Matt is holding me to it this time :(  I know from previous IUI's how long it takes my HCG shot to get out of my body for me to not get a false positive so I may slip while he is at work :)  Matt is very optimistic about this....me not so much. I have am really tired of getting excited only to get my heart smashed. He made me say at the doctors office today, "this is going to work"....
Meanwhile, I think I am developing a nasty urinary tract infection...my bladder feels like it is very mad at me. I am hoping the discomfort is just from my ovaries being a little bigger than normal and it isn't an infection. I will just have to wait and see.....

Sad Day...

I will make this short, as I really don't feel like typing.

Ultrasound today: I don't have as many follicles as he would like to see. He wants 10-12, I have 3 and not even good ones at that. He gives me the, "meet me in my office so we can talk" line after finishing my ultrasound....
He tells me that he doesn't think it is wise to continue to do IVF with this cycle since I am not stimulating like I should. He says we can convert to an IUI (with Matt's sperm issue the success rate of that is now low too).

We decided to switch to an IUI and see what happens...probably nothing.

Thats it.